2009-02-10

Elections 2009: Quantum voting for amateurs

So, you don't know whom to vote for? Hesitating between 8 different parties? Hate "strategic voting" which makes the big parties stay big? Your heart is with Liebermann but you want to support Bibi for the prime minister at the same time? Here's how to proceed.

Step 1. You will need
1. One voting coupon
2. Two hours of time to drive to your parents' place (which is where your address is registered coz you never bothered to change)
3. Lots of good will to defeat the dirty marxists

Step 2. Approach the voting calpi and take the voting envelope
Take any number of voting notes of the parties you support.

Step 3. Close your eyes.

Step 4. Mix and shuffle the notes every possible way. Do it fast because the line is waiting. Pick up a random note without looking. Put it in the envelope. Put all others in your pocket.

Step 5. Open your eyes. Proceed out of the calpi. You are not done yet.

Step 6. Find a trash can. Close your eyes again. Throw away all remaining voting notes. Leave the place in peace and wipe your memory with a strong white flash, for safety.

Done! Congratulations. You have now rendered the world in a superposition of your vote options.

And now! Exclusive 30% discount for Advanced Quantum Voting course, in which you will learn to give arbitrary coefficients to superpositions of the parties of your choice.

Disclaimer: The author should not be held responsible for any global disasters if one tries to play with imaginary voting coefficients.

EDIT: Clara suggested 'quantum pregnancy'. For instance, imagine you are a woman, hesitating whether you want your child to be mindbogglingly smart, a fast runner or sexy as Pavel. And there you have three men at your possession with these unique properties, By having sex with all three at the short time, you may obtain a quantum child [note for purists: this is not the same as QM superposition]. Interestingly enough, sperm sells are able to identify and attack foreigners.

3 comments:

alex said...

"הסופרפוזיציה מהשטן... הקב"ה לא משחק בקוביות"

הרב עובדיה יוסף, דרשה שבועית, ינואר 2017

yonatan said...

this might work, but not permanently. at the moment the garbageman empties the garbage can, he might glimpse at the notes you tossed away, thus collapsing the wave function of the voted note. the uncertainty principle, of coarse, can't allow this, thus bibi might turn in to a used blue crocks sandal.

Winterrain said...

nice.